I found Inspiration’s hiding spot.

It was ducking behind running my own business.

I’m amazed at how often inspiration has struck for me since turning my passion back into a hobby instead of my bread and butter. For starters, I have photographed so much more! (Thanks in part to the compact size of my new X100F). I’m carrying a camera with me everywhere these days. I haven’t done that in probably eight years.

I’ve been struck with writing inspiration and have jotted down several topics I want to cover for work. I’ve started a new photography project (just last night actually) that I’m really excited about. Not sure when, or if, I’ll share it here. But I also now have a running list of ideas.

The pleasure I’ve received through writing and taking pictures is unparalleled as of late. Everything feels fresh and I love it. Now that I’m not focused on creating something that fits into a specific mold or style, it’s like my eyes have been opened and I’m seeing beauty clearly for the first time.

Lighting falling through the trees, the colors on a leaf, the shape of the shadows created as light cascades through the window blinds… So much beauty all around me that I rarely took the time to document. Now, I can’t help myself. And why should I?

I want to be the person who pulls over on the side of the road to photograph the sunset. Or the person who camps out at a little sidewalk cafe just so I can photograph the light peaking between the buildings across the street during golden hour.

I want to be the person who appreciates and acknowledges the ordinary beauty of the every day.

What kind of person do you want to be?

 

 

Seizing the moments. And documenting them.

I know I’m not the first parent who desperately longs for bedtime. For that final hug, a kiss goodnight and a closed door. Because parenting is hard. You give of yourself all day long and some days, it’s all you can do to not audibly count down the minutes.

I’ve had several nights like that recently. As this deployment drags on, I’ve been in single parent mode for a while (and I’m not complaining – I know there are many who live this reality and probably do it far better than me) and I’m tired.

The day was filled with Legos and stories and 25 cent bouncy balls. With three children clamoring for my attention. It’s a lot to digest for anyone, let alone when you’re an introvert.

Interacting with my children can sometimes be a real struggle for me. Especially in the summer. Sometimes, I can’t handle it and I let them watch too many cartoons so that I can retreat to the privacy of my own room and read a book.

100F0007100F0006

Tonight, I was trying to give each kid my attention, tuck them in lovingly, not rush them along. I got two out of three and I was feeling good when an opportunity presented itself. My firstborn (my 12-year old little man) wanted to sit and chat over a cup of tea. Tea is his new thing. It helps him sleep, so he says.

It may just be a placebo but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.

So, we sat on the front porch as the last light faded from the sky. I got an insight into his mind, his heart…something I would’ve missed out on had I not seized the moment and sacrificed a little personal time. (And believe me, I wanted that personal time)!

He has always run from my camera. Any camera really, so I never took it personally. But now he is recognizing the value of recorded history. And so, I popped my new X100F in silent mode and snapped a few pictures to help me remember this special night.

The night I watched him drink hot tea through a straw. The night he told me about the new video game he’s into. The night he asked me how I was doing. The night I wanted to be selfish but instead, decided to be selfless.

I’m sure I’ll need the reminder at some point.

 

100F0018

100F0020

SaveSave

I made a mistake. It’s not the first.

In an effort to be really transparent, I’m not going to delete my previous post about how the X100F was not the camera for me. That was my initial reaction. I even ordered an X-T2 and was pretty excited about it. But then it arrived and guess what happened?

Nothing.

Whereas for the short time the X100F was in my possession I took it everywhere and made a lot of beautiful photographs, the X-T2 arrived and sat on my desk. I like the way the XT series handles so much more. I like the way it feels. But with a lens attached, it’s too big to carry everywhere. And I was foolish to lose sight of that. I don’t need another camera that sits on my desk. I already have two larger film cameras that I only use at home for that very reason.

It’s crazy how things work out sometimes because it’s almost like the decision was made for me. The X-T2 I received actually wound up being defective. What are the chances, right? So, I was already going to have to send it back and in packaging it all up, I realized that I bought the upgraded version of the camera I just sold instead of the camera that would fit the needs I had already identified.

And so, the X100F it is. I’m going to have to embrace the learning curve.

I’m not perfect. The former professional photographer in me saw more possibilities with the interchangeable lens system. Former professional photographer. The mom in me realized that the best camera is the one I have with me, which means it needs to be small, lightweight and unobtrusive.

Have I mentioned how averse I am to change? I think that’s one of the reasons I made the choice I did. I’m afraid of change. But I shouldn’t be, because nothing stays the same.

 

SaveSave